Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
