so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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