Kiss
Puke
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
