Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
