what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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