I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
