1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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