Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
