Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
