he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
