I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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