ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
