I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
