and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
