i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize