i'm signing you up for texting rehab
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
