U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
