So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So much rum. So many feels.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
