Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
