Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
