That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
