I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
