youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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