I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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