we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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