Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
