I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
