if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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