last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
