Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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