Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
