there's paper in my vomit.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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