Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
