She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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