I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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