I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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