he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
