dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am one with the molecules
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize