Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize