i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
