Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
