it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
