we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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