It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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