So drunk its hurt
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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