shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
