She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
