haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
