Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
