I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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