omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize