your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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