In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
