I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
