sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
