My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
