he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
