I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am puke
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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