8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
