I'm going to jail i love you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize