i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
