Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
